Book Review: How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

winfriendsHow To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is one of the most famous self help books ever written.

How to Win Friends and Influence People continues to be a best seller and helping generation after generation of people understand how to communicate and build relationships.

In short the book offers advice on how to deal with social situations and can be summarised under 4 main sections:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticise, condemn or complain. People just don’t like it and there are better ways to give feedback.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile. It raises your spirits and puts the other person at ease.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatise your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offence or Arousing Resentment

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Although not ground breaking, this is advice that is enduring and as valuable today as it was when it was first written and directly applicable in building relationships. a solid text that should be part of any self improvement library.

Dare to Aspire

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