I recently attended a training course in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and I have been applying many of the techniques with varying levels of success.
For those who have been hiding under a stone for the last 40 years, NLP is a collection of principles and behaviour patterns that can help people made significant advances in their personal performance and development. There are many books on the subject and I recommend several at the end of this posting.
What I aim to do is reduce the jargon around 10 of the key elements of NLP, making them easier to understand and perhaps easier to apply.
1. When you begin to feel an emotion, recognising that emotion without judging it can reduce its influence on you. Emotions are there to give you a message, reacting to those emotions makes you less likely to recognise the message they are giving you.
2. Trying to do something means that you have already accepted the possibility that you may not be able to achieve it. Stating that you will do something will not guarantee that you will do it, but it is a better approach to take and does not assume that you could fail.
3. A bad habit is giving you some comfort, or fulfilling and emotional need. You cannot just stop that habit without replacing it with another behaviour that fulfils that need.
4. Change the way that you use your inner voice. Use phrases that you enjoy hearing. You wouldn’t put up with a friend that constantly used negative language and lowered your self-esteem, so why put up with a voice in your head that does the same.
5. A negative experience has been stored in our memory. By picturing that negative experience in your mind and making it physically smaller and black and white and fuzzy you reduce its impact. You can improve the benefit of positive experiences by increasing the size of their mental image, making them clearer and in vivid colour.
6. First picture a task you want to avoid and second picture yourself really enjoying it. Take the first picture and SWAP it with the second picture. Repeat this 10 times and then you will feel less like avoiding that task and perhaps even looking forward to it.
7. Copy or mirror the behaviours of a person you are talking to as subtly as you can. This will bring you into rapport. Then try to ‘lead’ the behaviour and see if you partner follows you. This rapport is useful for building confidence, trust and improving the relationship.
8. Increased a person’s self image and positive emotions by using powerful language like, brilliant, sensational and dazzling. Reduce the impact of negative emotions by using less powerful words like mildly upset, emotionally scratched.
9. Remember a time when you felt unbeatable, or imagine how you would feel if you were unbeatable and wildly successful. Fully imagine the feeling and when it is as intense as it can be, touch a part of your body such as touching your thumb and forefinger. Repeat this a few times and then when you need to feel unbeatable, touch that part of your body again and you will trigger that feeling again.
10. People generally have 3 ways to build their representation of the world:
- Visually – in pictures and movies.
- Auditory – in sounds and music.
- Kinaesthetic – in feelings and physical motion.
By recognising how a person represents the world in their head and using language that is similar to that representation, you are more likely to et your message across.
A useful way of working out which system a person uses is to ask questions and se where their eyes move.
Eyes up — Visual
Eyes horizontal – Auditory
Eyes down and right – Kinaesthetic
Think about these concepts and find opportunities to apply them. You will see benefits from using some or all of them in both your work and personal life.
If you are interested in learning more about NLP then try my book summary at the Braincram homepage. Click here
I must also thank John at NLPExcellence for providing a sterling training course.
Dare to Aspire